Impermanence at 50

Hello friend! Thanks for reading. I wanted to take this opportunity to share some reflections I've been doing as my 50th birthday approaches. I'd like to share an insight that has profoundly shaped my life, but it's been changing, and I want to share that change with you. It's the Buddhist concept of impermanence, a philosophy and way of life that has been my rock since my early 20s. It's been especially helpful during turbulent times when everything seemed to be falling apart.

Now, as I stand on the brink of my 50th birthday, my relationship with the concept of impermanence has evolved. It's not just about navigating life's storms anymore, knowing that, at some point, perhaps sooner or later, the discomfort will pass. Now, it's about savoring, taking joy in little moments — whether that's a tranquil evening with my beloved wife, Melissa, or our dog, Disco's little quirks, like when she suns her belly in the middle of a hot day. It's about recognizing that these moments are so transient. They will never come again, and I know now that Melissa and Disco can't and won't always be here by my side.

But here's where it deepens: embracing impermanence is not only about cherishing those sweet moments. It's also about acknowledging and leaning into the challenging ones. Recently, I've been really struggling with a serious flare of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Instead of distancing myself from the discomfort, I notice that more and more, I am asking myself, "How can I lean into this?" Oddly enough, I've found that even pain has a unique tenderness, a lesson, and a certain sweetness when you really look. This approach has transformed some negative experiences into powerful moments of introspection and personal growth.

One of the profound shifts that aging has blessed me with is this movement from reactivity to reflection. What could have stretched into a day-long argument with Melissa now becomes a fleeting moment. It nudges me to pause, take a step back, and notice, "Look at the tantrum you're throwing. Is this how you want to spend your day? Getting caught up in the need to be right, even righteous?" This shift is the gift of turning 50.

Of course, hitting the half-century mark has come with its physical reminders. My body doesn't rebound the way it used to. I can't eat all the foods I'd like to. My gut is clearly more fragile, and I notice that I get fatigued more than I would like to admit. Yet, despite these physical manifestations of age, I don't have to feel perfect to embrace the moment.

If impermanence has taught me one thing, it's that there's no better moment than the present. Every moment, every emotion and every experience — the highs, the lows, the every day and the extraordinary — is worth savoring, learning from, and cherishing.

So, as I approach this significant milestone, I can confidently say that impermanence isn't just a philosophical idea to me. It's how I live, how I view the world, how I make sense of my existence. If you found value in today's reflection, share this post with friends and family and inspire them, too.